Oh ! This Funny Language

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger,
neither apple nor pine in pineapple
English muffins were not invented in England
or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
Why is that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce, hammers don't ham
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese, so one moose, 2 meese?
One index, two indices?
Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegatarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy be opposites?
When a house burns up, it burns down
You fill a form by filling it out
An alarm clock goes off by going on
When the stars are out, they are visible
but when the lights are out, they are invisible
When I wind up my watch, I start it
But when I wind up this essay, I end it

Courtesy : InBox Collection -

From The Animal Kingdom

Courtesy : Email Circulation

From My InBox

I have an obsession collecting email forwards, that I deem fit to read a multiple times. The ones with a story and a moral behind it. Here is one such inbox collection which is truly worth reading time after time, as it enlightens the power of Gossip, that could do harm and cause many misunderstandings among society. Gossip is the creation of a twisted mind.! The pain caused by this is incalculable. Next time lets think twice before participating in any kind of smear campaign.






The Gossip

A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story.
The person concerned was deeply hurt and offended.
Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue.
She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.
"Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road."
Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.
The next day the wise man said, "Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."
The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown all the feathers away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand.
"You see," said the old sage, "it's easy to drop them, but it's impossible to get them back.
So it is with gossip. It doesn't take much to spread a rumor, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong."