Oh ! This Funny Language

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger,
neither apple nor pine in pineapple
English muffins were not invented in England
or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
Why is that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce, hammers don't ham
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese, so one moose, 2 meese?
One index, two indices?
Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegatarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy be opposites?
When a house burns up, it burns down
You fill a form by filling it out
An alarm clock goes off by going on
When the stars are out, they are visible
but when the lights are out, they are invisible
When I wind up my watch, I start it
But when I wind up this essay, I end it

Courtesy : InBox Collection -