Let's Face It...

Facebook is a social network, where friends and family can connect with each other no matter what the distance is between them. One can chat live or write contents off line. Leave comments that are clear and explicable to the profile owner or leave them stunned or baffled with sardonic remarks. Though I was aware of this social network, I didn’t advocate on becoming a member until a few months ago when I was invited to see some family photographs that left me with no option but to join the network. I joined this network with the sole purpose of meeting with family and friends, to get to know their well being and maybe see some of them digitally.

Now we have the opportunity to meet with friends and family whom we have not met for decades and or living poles apart. Social networking has become a fashion icon amongst the younger generation and an analgesic to us the Forty something….Once you get on Facebook, there is no way you are going out of it, even if you wanted to and that is why, I termed it as an ‘analgesic’ because you get hooked to it one way or the other. For many it’s not only as regards to the social contact and communications that draws them toward Facebook but also because of the countless games that entice them . Nonetheless it has become a popular leisure pursuit on cyberspace.

Getting to know new people is a wonderful idea, but we got to be careful with whom we befriend on Facebook. Some add unknown people just to increase their number on their friends list, some for fun and yet some to stalk people and scare the hell out of them. There are many positive and negative aspects of being connected on a social network like Facebook. Advantages are the user gets to be In touch with friends and family on a daily basis - gets to know what friends are up to and where they are. In addition, to this, the comments written on a friends wall post could make or break their day, either with a smile , a blush or leave them wondering “what the hell !".

As much as the many positive attributes of social networking , there’s the malevolence side too. Users soak up so much into it, that they tend to write their personal issues and squabbles, thus create a mockery within the group of people .Then there are some who are likely to get irritated or agitated with the comments that is writen on their wall posts or cast lewd remarks on the photographs that are displayed which subsequently cause a rift between the people concerned .Sometimes the comments are irrelevant. The mode of commenting shows the attitude in us, so let’s employ kindness in our writing and cheer up the person on the other end of the line.

Every now and then we are put into uncomfortable circumstances when someone we didn’t know sends us a friend request, If we actually didn’t know the person , we must not feel bad about ignoring that request, after all we have to be careful and on the look out with whom we communicate on the network. I say this ,because there are malicious people using fake profiles who would lure us under the pretext of friendship., So let us always be on the alert.

Face book is also used in a nonsensical manner, a medium to vent out the frustration on friends, family and others, an easy way of expressing ones anger and hatred towards one other. It may be used as a platform to criticize, ridicule and abuse others.
Let’s not put anyone in an embarrassing or awkward situation, if we wish to criticize another user, utilize the message box instead. Many youngsters I have observed ,when they wanted to be expressive cynically or otherwise , become a fan of one of the many love – hate groups available , pick up a related -subject matter and thus make their opinion known publicly on the Home News Feed .Another discovery I made on Face book is the badge/ button/ or emblem ( call it whatever you may) which says ‘See who is viewing your profile’? I wonder who else view our pages besides the friends we have on our friend list? Cats..dogs ..kangaroos??

As for me while lazing on a quiet, hot mid-morning here in the Middle Eastern desert land, I get contentment in cyber space not only from communicating with family/ friends ,but also at the prospect of embracing the different seasons on the other side of the globe .Not surprising though, I get the opportunity ( all in one go- without even boarding a flight) to vividly, view the picturesque lush greenery and the sweet Spring blossoms in Europe, the snowy white caps in the mountainous Pacific or to feel the warmth of Asia that rekindle sweet memories of yesteryear. Even if those visuals are only virtual - who cares? That's facebooking !

How I Coped With PPD

As March dawned memories came flashing back .It was as if yesterday that I had endured the nerve-jangling experience. I still picture that moment so vividly.Six years ago precisely, I was expecting my fourth child and during my routine check up at the hospital, I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard my gynaecologist say to me, ,“You have to prepare for a c-section”, .I started to panic as I had presupposed it was going to be a normal delivery. Prior to the doctor’s assertion, I had politely declined mother’s suggestion about delivering the baby back in the native land, basically because my daughters would miss three months of school work if I had accepted her proposition.

Than came the due date...I did all right delivering my fourth baby, a healthy baby boy (a play mate for my older son, who was three that time.). It was the first time that I experienced the trials and tribulations of bringing up a newborn without any womenfolk around for help. It was my husband and I taking turns and doing the chores together. I was exultant at my own approach in handling the situation at ease.

Everything was going on effortlessly, when after a few days, out of the blue something took over me. It was progressively creeping into my system.That was something atypical. Those fleeting thoughts seemed insignificant but I chose to hang onto them.At that time it didn’t become apparent that it was my hormones doing the jig, owing to the bodily changes in me. Initially my husband and I assumed it was due to being stressed out because of the sleepless nights that followed after the baby’s birth. Before long I realised it was due to high levels of anxiety and hence decided to discuss this over with someone who was well-informed in this subject and seek medical advice promptly.

Coming back to normalcy after this stressful experience, I turned to various informative resources to learn more about this condition that some women encounter during the phase of motherhood. Post partum depression or PPD is a common hitch in new mothers. New moms should always get additional help—someone to lend a hand with the chores around the house and someone to watch the baby while she gets some much-needed rest.

Unfortunately, most women overlook the symptoms of PPD. Some distinctive symptoms of PPD are trouble sleeping through the night, mood swings, difficulty in being focussed and loss of interest in activities which you had earlier enjoyed with your older children. Antidepressants play a vital part in the healing process but it should be taken only if advised by the doctor. Regrettably, women with PPD, feel embarrassed to talk this over with family/friends. It is advisable to get prompt medical attention if mood swings go beyond a month or so after childbirth.

I have been fortunate to have encountered PPD no more than moderately and have completely got over it with therapeutic assistance. I am ever thankful to the Almighty for being by my side to protect me and my loved ones from any calamity. As I reminisce the years gone by, I feel at ease for not letting the PPD take control of my life totally, I am appreciative - to all my loved ones’ intervention. Their constant support and encouragement helped me muddled through this condition with a brave outlook.

I am relieved that I was able to alleviate myself from the clutches of prolonged PPD sooner than expected and thus have gathered courage to get going and cope life’s challenges optimistically.

The Language Twist

Children love to imitate adults..They mimic..they act and recount words used by adults..However , as much as it seems unpleasant at times ,don’t we all love children , who delight us with their naive viewpoints or so to say, their uncorrupted philosophies. So today I want to share with my 'blogger friends', my article, with some anecdotes of my children , which appeared in a Sunday Paper a couple of years ago.



THE LANGUAGE TWIST
To dye or to die

Alarmed at the silver streaks which was quite visible in a few of my tresses, I hastened toward the washroom, with a packet of ‘henna’ and an old toothbrush, bumping on to him as I tried to dash ahead and my seven year old, wanted to know why I was in a hurry. Without elaborating, I told him in plain language, I was going to ‘dye’.

Immediately after spilling that doubled meaning word, I knew what a grave mistake I had made. In actual fact I had really confused him. I could see his baffled face and his tiny mouth opened wide. In an instant, I had made my son miserable. Cross at my own rashness, I immediately sat with him (my Henna experiment forgotten for the moment) and explained to him the difference between dye and die. I didn’t exactly clarify ‘die’, in depth...nonetheless he was convinced...and me? Wasn’t I reassured when I saw his toothless grin...!!!

On the whole, children still cannot grasp the meaning of some of the words used by adults. Hence we have to be careful with our phrasing when dealing with children. Employing simple and uncomplicated expressions make it easier for them to comprehend the language. At times, words which have two meanings should be used with great care where they are concerned.

If we notice our child to be disturbed over something we have said, let us make sure to rectify the problem immediately, by doing this there wouldn’t be any room for misunderstanding. Children every now and then, pick up a specific word by listening to adults conversations, although they may not know the meaning or the gravity of it, they try to apply it in their vocabulary; it is then the duty of the parents to let them know whether it is appropriate to use it in that context. They should not be reprimanded but have to be told in the kindest possible way which word is appropriate and which is not.

Kids often take us by surprise, like the other day at home, during bedtime (which is usually quiz time) when my two young sons drilled me for the umpteenth time. I must confess that I am consistently at a loss for words, in the midst of these two, for often, they pose questions intended for Martians!!! However, on this particular night, the older of the two, wanted to know, “Why people die?” Just imagine the plight I was in? Now...How would I define ‘die’ in the proper sense to my seven year old, whom I had already scared the wits out (during my Henna trial). How-so-ever after a thorough brain wrecking session, I gave him a kind of a structured reply by saying “someday, people grow old, someday, they become sick and someday, they eventually die” (I didn’t have a better response than this) and he, like an obedient student quietly took in, what he had just heard. And then all of a sudden looked me in the eye and said, “Then...how come??? YOU didn’t?” Didn’t he bowl me over, with that witty remark? Recalling that moment, today, it brings me a great sense of pride, to realize the immense pleasure our kids bring into our ever strenuous lives, even if it is sometimes, not a pleasant thing to hear.

Children look to their parents for everything and see them as role models. Bearing this in mind, we have to set good examples at all times whether in speech or in action, for they often imitate what they see and repeat what they hear. Parents should endow them with an extensive range of good books; help them read and make them understand. Motivating them, to ask questions based on their storybooks and textbooks, to heighten their confidence in their communication and comprehensive skills.Being a bystander in the initial perplexity of the’ dye or die’ hullabaloo, my youngest, (whenever he sees a packet of Henna in my hand) very solemnly pronounces, “Mummy’s old and she is going to die’.

He’s four now and has just entered kindergarten. Thus, I’ll encourage him to learn new skills in his class. Perhaps I’ll wait for another year to go by, to undo the tangle and teach him, the difference between ‘dye’ and ‘die’!!! And then, probably in a few more years, when he really comprehends the whole situation...wouldn’t I be relieved to hear him say “Mummy’s grey, so she’s going to dye...”!!!
Incidentally, my hair ‘dye-ing’ - scheduled a few hours from now - is going to be simply enchanting, for my snoopy ‘foursome’, who are in eternal anticipation to know how those silver streaks disappear every time I touch the hair with my magical wand (the old toothbrush of course!!!)
As a consequence, it will be demonstrated with out much ado, to the delight of my enthusiastic audience.

Click here to view my newspaper article

Smitten By The Bug

One afternoon,my five year old came running to me, shrieking with excitement , “Mom!!, I caught the bug.!”. With mixed feelings and uncertainty, I exclaimed ‘What?’ What do you mean? . He then paused for a while and stuttered, ‘But I hit it before it bit me’. Before I could act in response, he opened his miniature palm and showed me a harmless dead Beetle. It took me a while to realize why my son was so hysterical, he was in fact telling me that he had just killed the carrier of the Swine Flu. Yes! The swine flu has punched everyone at home - Oh no- God forbid -we have not been bitten by the bug but more or less smitten by it. Hence the trail of destruction: the chaos and the confusion that it has brought alongside..

A few days back, the children’s school had organized a field trip to the Dolphin show. My son was so thrilled that he was talking nineteen to the dozen about the forthcoming trip. Alas! His dreams were shattered when the school cancelled the program, because many parents didn’t like the idea of their ward mingling with a large crowd in close quarters, due to Swine Flu. Outdoor games and sports activities have been postponed due to this latest bug fear! The school also sent out circulars, to keep the children at home, if they had a minor cold or a cough. Although this sounded absurd! I silently agreed…

Whenever my youngsters wanted to venture out for the weekend, I would just get alarmed and would coerce them into agreeing to go to a less crowded place, so that they wouldn’t have to inhale any contaminated air. The girls have stopped coming with us to the market place because they fear the perpetrators could be mingling in the already congested area .And then, one weekend, when we eventually decided it was no point being wedged at home and set out as one big enthusiastic family, when out of the blue, a thunderous sneeze from a passerby, made all of us jump up in panic, apprehensively wondering if with that kind of sternutation (which I assumed was a replica of ‘Achoo Syndrome’ ) , all the air around got multiplied with the transmittable germs .With visions of the flu - bugs clouding up the air ,we quickly left the vicinity.

Even with all the extra guidelines especially to the children, on how to prevent themselves, from being hit by this particular virus, they tend to forget about it once they get out to play their usual rough and tumble games. As we never know if the playground is already tainted with this airborne bug, I often wonder how they would get the opportunity to clean themselves in case of a fall and when they get all messed up during playtime at school. In all probability, they’ll come home in that state carrying all the contagious droplets with them, which I think would be too late to purge those microbes out of their system.

I am, like everyone, deeply concerned about this flu which has already affected many people globally .This air-borne virus haphazardly harms both adults and children. Isn’t its time we educate ourselves in all aspects of this subject . It’s never too late to cautiously learn more about this bug that keeps bugging us, so as to be in a better position to deal with this latest flu-influenza, which is better known as Swine Flu, when in actuality ,drifts toward us.

A Decade In The Y2K

We are approaching another year.A brand New Year. When we first came within reach of the New Millennium, there was this media hype,a hullabaloo about the Y2K bug that was going to disrupt and wipe out all stored information off our computers. This revelation created a chaos among many..But Thank God it never happened and todate no one really knows why the bug forgot to bite. Nevertheless aren't we all glad that everyone superseded the fear of the ‘Year 2000 ‘ or the ‘Y2K’ and probably look forward to victoriously celebrate a decade in the 'Y2K' epoch.

With the new year comes new beginnings, new challenges. Most of us, I guess plan to bring about changes in our lives ..This is the time when everyone starts making New Year resolutions. It's easy to make resolutions but I wonder how many actually keep it.Over the years, I too had many resolutions that I wished to keep , but alas! couldn’t see it all getting materialized. Before the New year turns up we would be planning and making endless and countless lists on what to do and what not to do .Come New year ,we tend to forget all we have planned and thus our goals that we try to achieve in the new year gets blown away with the wind….

I ask myself again and again ..Why wait for the New Year to make promises. All that we have got to do is take one day at a time .Make the best of that day.Step on the positive side and toss away the negativity. With a little bit of patience and appreciation , we ought to countenance the complications and the challenges that come to pass on us through this cycle of life, Being bold enough to defy the hurdles , we would possibly find the rest of our days rewarding.

A Happy New Year To You !

The Circle Of Friends Award

I am delighted to get the Circle of Friends award, which I have proudly displayed in the sidebar, from my blogger friend Mothers Always (Being Me), whose writings I admire. Receiving these awards from other bloggers help strengthen our confidence and credence in ourselves, and a motivation to blog better in blogosphere! I do not find enough time to blog on a daily basis, but whenever I find the time. I really enjoy it. I also love browsing the pages of my blogger friends, to read their posts and leave them a comment.

Receiving, giving and passing on awards to others is no doubt, an encouraging approach to develop a friendly bond among bloggers. Leaving a friend something exceptional like this virtual award, makes the recipient contented, knowing his/her posts have been appreciated. There are so many things we learn from each other here at blogosphere. We get to know the likes, the dislikes, favorites and of course the humorous side of our blogger friends. We learn about the different cultures, customs and the scrumptious recipes and cuisines from varied countries. I take this opportunity to thank my friends here at blogosphere and others, who browse through my posts.

Now I have to follow the rules and write a few facts about me
1. I have learned that to pursue an inner feeling of happiness, I got to approach toward the positive.
2. I turn to the internet to satiate my thirst for some reading.
3. My family comes first. They are my priority.
4. Oprah Winfrey’s Talk Show has been a source of inspiration to me and to a score of others .I would like her to reassess her retirement because we need people like her, who has the skill , to help motivate the youth of today to be a better society tomorrow.
5. I have cried the most in the year 2004, first in October when I lost my precious mother, who had always been my pillar of strength and then again in December, when a massive Tsunami hit South East Asia. My country Sri Lanka which was already ravaged by an internal war: a war between man, got wrecked a second time: a war with Nature (God forbid, let me cry no more!)


The new recipients of this award go to
1. The desperate cook
2. A Mommy's Day: by I am Me
3. Middle age ramblings
4. AISHALIFE-LINE
5. Nophie's Corner

The rules - Remember to acknowledge the bloggers (do a link) where they came from, nominate 5 recipients (Let them know about it) and tell us any 5 things about yourself. And don't forget to copy and paste the award badge!

Children And Boredom

The chilly weather makes all of us longing, to get cozy and huddle up in the house and when we have children around, we often wonder how we are going to keep them occupied for a specific period of time. And during winter break ,the kids get holed up in the house. It is then, that they complain of nothing to do and getting bored. Getting them to help us in the household chores is a good idea but for how long will they like this kind of activity we cannot predict.

As a stay at home mom, I have often spent a few times, stooping to their level ,taking instructions and abiding by their rules and regulations, in order to help their play time happy and fun .All in all, the end results are that we all are contended by the fact that we have had enough of quantity and quality time together as a family...

There are many ways and means to regenerate our kids from boredom. Its time we become a little creative in order to stop our brood from complaining. One does not need to be an expert in bringing out ideas to help children find some ways to spend their time during holidays.

Make opportunities for children to get active in different ways... By sharing our ideas with the kids on what to do and how to do, helps the children to play an active role in being creative... Generate a lot of opportunities for the children to experience with..Let them experiment with different ideas. Children would like anything to do with games. There are many ways to be creative and make holiday time a fun time. Some children are good with words. Indoor games like word –building could be really interesting, when you make it a fun game. For instance, take the word ‘Ordinary ‘. Let them make new words from this one long word. The new words from ‘ordinary’ would be (ray, roar, yard, nod, ran etc). By introducing this word game, we are actually helping them improve their vocabulary.

Another fun game, I observed my kids loved were the repeatedly practicing of tongue twisters!.'Twisters' is a sure way to revitalize kids from boredom. Here is a tongue twister which my children and I enjoy to date...This could also be played as a game, to test their spelling skills (in this case ,whether/weather)

Whether the weather be fine
Or whether the weather be not
Whether the weather be cold
Or whether the weather be hot
We’ll weather the weather
Whatever the weather
Whether we like it or not.”

Happy Holidays! Have Fun...